Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Yay, Brandon

A New Word

I coined a new word: Twillyniddle.

I know what I meant when I created it, but what's your guess as to what it means?
I was simply going to post this link to a story about a man who discovered the image of Jesus Christ in a tree trunk, but I was so mesmerized by his amazing discovery I decided to look deeper into this miraculous find.

While the furniture-maker involved claims he found "an image of Jesus ascending to heaven," upon closer examination, I realized it doesn't look much like Jesus at all. Putting on my "CSI" hat (note: not an actual hat), I delved further into the mystery by turning the image in the tree trunk on its side.



This different perspective gave me a thunderbolt moment of awe and revelation! It was immediately apparent that what the furniture-maker had found was not merely an image of Jesus, but perhaps a deeper truth about Jesus. (Is it a coincidence that this image appears in wood and Jesus was a carpenter?)

Look closely at the image in the wood. Open your minds, ye scoffers ye.



What do you see? Do you have faith or not? Do you believe or not? Do you see the true figure in the wood? Do you see what I see? Are you tiring of all these questions? Behold, the true image in the wood!



That's right, it's Jesus, as the furniture-maker claims, but it's not just any Jesus. It's Goat Jesus!

Or something.

What does it all mean? Does it mean that Jesus is, in fact, in all things? Does it mean that certain religious leaders are likely to have had a penchant for eating tin cans? Does it mean that people who see religious figures in mundane things are complete jackasses?

I don't know the answer to these questions. All I know is that as long as we have wood, the world will be a better place. Or something.

Jerkwad Trivia

Controversial chess icon Bobby Fischer once asserted the United States is "a farce controlled by dirty, hook-nosed, circumcised Jew bastards."

Further proof that one can be a genius AND a jerkwad, all at the same time.

Today's "Holy Crap" Tidbit

A recent study proved that as many as 16 million people alive today, about 0.5% of the population of Earth, are descendants of Genghis Khan.

This Is 31% Funny

I wonder if workers in match companies are allowed to strike.

Sentencing

I always thought they should make a law against premature ejaculation. The only problem would be sentencing. Everyone would probably get off way too easy.

Something I'd Like to See

Something I'd like to see: Chicken free hormones.

Dreams

Our dreams can go so wrong. You never hear a child say, "When I grow up, I want to do consolidated operations analysis."

Yay, Kids to Kids!

I was lucky enough to be involved in the production of a video segment to be aired on Channel 8 (KLAS) here in Las Vegas. The video is in honor of Kids to Kids (the children's literacy organization I volunteer with) being chosen as one of the station's Community Pride Partners.

It was fun helping to put this together. Came up with the concept. Wrote the script, including the voiceover and visuals. Managed the shoot with the folks from Channel 8. I think it turned out pretty well. Enjoy!