Let's Just Decide

The world can be frustrating sometimes. We look around us and feel that frustration because often we hear news that makes us feel powerless to change things. How many times a day do we say, "That's SO stupid!" during the course of our day. I say it a lot. Stupid, misguided, dumb, insane, ridiculous. They all fit. From religion to politics, there are so many things that just don't seem to make sense.

Well, I don't see why, in a democracy, we can't just all decide some things should just be different. If all the sensible people in the world just decided things should change, they would change. It's really pretty simple.

Let's all just decide, as of today, that when a female teacher has sex with a teenaged boy, there's no crime. Nobody's career needs to be ruined, nobody goes to jail. There are no victims. See? Simple.

Also, let's just decide the government doesn't get to borrow money. We spend what we bring in. Simple. Oh, and maybe we could all just decide to lower taxes. We all decide that nobody needs to get grants studying the mating habits of the ground squirrel. The squirrels will manage.

From here on out, nobody gets arrested for marijuana. I've never had it, but it seems harmless enough. Much more prison space. More money to spend on schools and parks and roads. Simple.

Let's just all agree that if a traffic light is red, but no cars can be seen in either direction, we can just go. Really, we can make these big decisions without the help of mechanical devices.

Let's decide, all together, that if a country experiences a horrific tragedy, such as a cyclone, but the government of that country can't help their citizens, but refuses to accept outside assistance, we just invade them and help the people and leave afterward.

It's time for everyone to decide that we'll stop lying to ourselves about bridesmaids dresses. None have ever looked good, and none will ever be worn for other occasions. Bridesmaids exist to make the bride look great. Let's all get onboard with this from here on out.

Let's all just decide that farmers will no longer be paid to not grow things.

Let's all decide to be able to locate Iraq on a map. Everyone.

Let's decide that if someone got into a mortgage, and they didn't understand the terms of that contract, well, next time read the thing. Or rent. But don't expect us to help you out of the mess.

Let's all decide that no matter how old Grandma might be, it's not all right to grow whiskers.

How about if we all just decide that religious organizations get to pay taxes like the rest of us? Starting today. In no time, we'll have more schools and roads and parks than we know what to do with.

Let's decide that rock bands don't get to charge nearly as much as they do for concerts. The truth is that it's really stupid to "watch music." Concerts should cost as much as movies, no more. If we all decide that's about right, that's what concerts will cost.

I say we decide that providing handicap parking spaces is fine, but let's make it one per establishment. That's it. It's not that we don't have sympathy for people with disabilities, but when was the last time you saw a person with an actual disability using one of those spots?

Let's all decide that "Deal or No Deal" is maybe the dumbest show ever. It's a five-second guessing game stretched out to an hour, and sometimes longer (it feels much, much longer). And, no, actually, the aspiring actresses who open the briefcases don't help.

Let's decide that Internet gambling is no different than any other kind. To outlaw it is treating people like imbeciles. People can do what they want with their own money.

Let's all agree that babies don't get to attend theatrical films. And they don't get to eat in restaurants.

It's time we decided that we don't have to sue every time we slip on a grape in a grocery store. Sometimes we hurt ourselves. We'll survive.

I say we all just decide it's OK to talk to strangers. There aren't nearly the number of serial killers and pedophiles we've been told there are, and in the long run, being friendly to strangers is worth the risk. Life is just plain better when we're not living in fear 24-7.

Let's decide we're going to get our own oil, in Alaska or wherever, and never let other countries decide how much our gas is going to cost. I love caribou, too, but come on.

Let's decide that if a restaurant is hurt by a smoking ban, it's OK. Make better food.

Let's all just decide that what famous actors and musicians do during their time off isn't all that interesting. The paparazzi will be fine. Wedding photography can be very lucrative, and nobody gets hurt.

Let's decide not to waste another second of our lives debating about whether it's OK to burn a flag. Spend your energy protecting a veteran's health benefits, not a piece of material.

Let's decide, as of this minute, that anyone who gets caught generating spam e-mails in vast quantities gets life in prison. We know where to get Viagra, so leave us the hell alone.

I think it's time we all agree that if you find something, and it's not yours, you give it back. It's not a news story. It's what's right.

Let's all decide that TV shows don't make great source material for movies. Sorry. Try coming up with something original. You can do it.

We don't need to have debates about all this. No judges or Congresspeople need to get involved. We can just decide. Especially on the easy stuff. Who said we have to be a "country of laws." Maybe we can just decide to be a country of common sense. And if you don't agree, well, then, you're probably protecting your job or something, and you don't get to help make the decision. Sorry.

What other things do you think we should just decide? Other than deciding not to forward this list to a friend, of course.