Today's Kid

Today's Random Zombie-Related List By Scott Roeben

Classic novels, now injected with some zombie awesomeness:

• The Adventures and Femur of Huckleberry Finn
  
• Crime and Disembowlment
  
• To Kill and Wolf Down a Mockingbird
  
• Swiss Family Brains
  
• The Old Man and the Sea Salt to Taste
  
• The Catcher on Rye
  
• All Slurpy on the Western Front
  
• Lord of the Flies and Maggots
  
• Gulliver's Eyeball
  
• Catch (and Devour) 22
  
• The Complete, Edible Sherlock Holmes
  
• Oliver Twist and Contort and Flail
  
• The Guts of Wrath
  
• The Blood-Soaked Badge of Courage
  
• Slaughterhouse (That's It, No "Five," Just Slaughterhouse)
  
• The Sound of Screaming and the Fury
  
• Uncle Tom's Gaping Neck Wound
  
• Lady Chatterly's Entrails
  
• As I Lay Dying ('Nuff said.)
  

Hanging Out

I've said it before. Sometimes, I have no idea why I like a photo so much. Maybe it's because I know what it took to get the shot. Maybe it's because I get at something I suspect nobody else ever has for a given portrait subject. This would be one of that.

It's Probably Best

It's probably best to keep me away from the Lightroom presets, whatever those might actually be.

When Kids Are Best

Kids are best when they're other people's. Yesterday, I did photography at a three-hour-plus kids' party. It was a zoo.





I suspect more kid portraits are on the way. Brace yourself.

Thank You

Thanks for keeping us entertained, dumb people.

Joy Prom

I'm so excited to be a part of Joy Prom here in Las Vegas. The community is really coming together to create a special night for these special needs children.

SEE SOME JOY PROM PHOTOS HERE.

The guests of honor are treated like royalty! This kind of sums up the evening:

"Guests will receive star-quality treatment, including a chance to get their shoes shined or makeup done, receive a boutonniere or corsage, walk the red carpet, have a prom portrait taken, eat a fabulous dinner, and dance the night away with friends. It will be an amazing night to celebrate life with our friends with special needs."

If you live in Vegas (and why in the hell wouldn't you?), there are still opportunities to help!

I'll be coordinating the "paparazzi" component of the evening. There are already 18 photographers signed up to participate, and we're going to make sure these kids feel like the superstars they are! Autograph-seekers welcome!

It was so nice of the organizers to add a link to my site on their Community Partners page. What a great group of very caring people.

Yay, Joy Prom Las Vegas!

For Photographers

For you photographers out there, this could be a godsend.



No Photoshop involved in that one. It's here in Las Vegas.

Duck, Duck

Life Lesson #4

Don't let anyone borrow your iPod. Yes, I have "I Feel Like a Woman" on mine, but nobody else needs to know that.

Product Placement

Product placement is so prevalent these days, isn't it? The practice of inserting a product into a movie or TV show actually goes back awhile, but product placement has become more prevalent of late, especially in TV, because digital recorder technology has forced advertisers to get clever about having their products seen when people are skipping ads left and right.

What if product placement had been around in the days when the Bible was being written?

Eve would have been created from Adam's McRib.

The Ten Commandments would include, "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor her Culligan reverse osmosis water softener system."

The burning bush would have been extinguished by Vagisil Anti-Itch Creme.

God would have created the world in six days, and on the seventh he would have embarked on a Carnival "Fun Ship" cruise to Puerto Vallarto.

After Jesus turned water into wine, one of his followers would have cleaned up the resulting mess with a ShamWow.

Leftovers from the Last Supper would obviously have been stored in Ziploc brand storage bags and containers.

Jacob's ladder would have sponsored by AA (and its 12-step program).

The last two animals to board Noah's Ark would have been geckos touting the cost savings of being insured by Geico.

The prostitute who washed Christ's feed would have finished the job with a PedEgg.

Lot's wife would have turned into a pillar of Morton salt.

After Moses' staff turned into a serpent, it would be turned back into a staff by Viagra.

The plague of locusts would have been stopped by the Orkin Man.

Phew. I'm spent.

Life Lesson #3

If you stop to say how much fun you're having, you're probably not having as much fun as you could.

It's always been a pet peeve of mine when people are hanging out, doing whatever, and someone will stop and blurt out, "Wow! This is so much fun. Aren't we having fun? This is FUN!"

Saying you're having fun means you've taken the time to think about how much fun you're having. You're not truly in the moment, you're outside of the moment, observing it and judging it and saying aloud the running commentary in your head.

Don't be a doofus. Just have fun. Don't comment on having fun. Dive in.

The Mind is a Curious Thing

It's been one of the most trying days I can remember. Emotionally draining. I think the body sometimes just wants to shut down.

So, I was sitting at my desk at work. And started to nod off. And in that moment, between being awake and asleep, a name came into my head, complete with spelling. A woman's name.

It was: Miss Horfle.

I know it was spelled like that, because I saw it in my head.

When I heard that name said in my head, my eyes popped open, and I laughed.

The mind is a curious thing. If it's trying to tell me something, I'm not sure I know what that something is. But at least in that moment, my mind was saying, "Here's a little gift."

I believe I will uset he last name of Horfle someday. For something. If you're a real-life Horfle, I'm sorry. I'm sure you've had to endure a lot, what with having a name that sounds like when a piece of scrambled egg goes down the wrong pipe.

Thank you, mind, wherever you are.

Horsing Around

Today's Photo

Of other people's kids. Both of whom have a dad that's deployed overseas.

Meet John

This is John. He's homeless. I snapped John in downtown Las Vegas, as part of my ongoing participation in the $2 Portrait Project. Anyone who asks for money gets their portrait taken for $2.



John was an affable fellow. The last time I was downtown, I saw John hanging out with a friend, resting their food and drinks on the rim of a trashcan. I saw them in the same place during my last visit.

I'm starting to think this trashcan has kind of been staked out by John and his friend. They just hang out there. It's their spot.

Time to remember how lucky we are. Again.

Ringflash

This photo of me was taken by a professional model. With my camera. So, it's mine. It was taken using a light called a ringflash. I feel I will have to acquire one, because it makes me look angelic.

Today's Photo of a Cat

Today's Movie Review

"Watchmen."

Well, that was a whole hell of a lot of not much.

Phew!

Dodged a bullet that time. My photo session in the local NPR online auction sold! Whee!

http://www.cmarket.com/auction/item/Item.action?id=82814152

Now THIS Could Be Painful

I donated a children's portrait session to NPR's local online auction fundraiser thingy.

It occurred to me, just now, that if no one bids on this, I will probably spend several months weeping openly.

Time to start working on an excuse. Top contender: "These Interwebs don't work after all!"

Cool Moment on an Awesome Show

Have I been lost a lot when I'm watching "Lost" lately? Sure! Jumping around in time and all that, it can be perplexing.

But there was a cool moment in tonight's show that was a great reminder of just one of the many things to be loved about "Lost." Sawyer, referring to the ageless Richard, said to one of the Dharma Initiative guys, "Your buddy out there with the eye liner."



Gawd, that one was brilliant. I'd been irked by the excessive eye liner from the beginning. Nicholas Cage has the same syndrome.

Anyway, I thought it was cool of the show to call it out like that. Yeah, yeah, the survivor reunion was OK, but bashing the eye liner? Inspired.

Today's Best Oxymoron

Today's best oxymoron (that I heard on a commercial on the SciFi network): "Paranormal reality series."

Gotcha

Life Lesson #2

OK, so the life lessons haven't been a daily thing. But I expect to do 365, so get ready. My friend Caroline said she liked #1, so here's the next.

Lesson #2: Being in a public restroom doesn't make you invisible.

This one could very well be a life lesson for only half the population, but it's a keeper nonetheless.

Guys, you know what I mean. In real life, there are bodily noises we just don't share. Not intentionally, anyway.

Then, suddenly, we're in a restroom, and everything goes to hell in a handbasket. Throat noises. Other noises. Not in the privacy of a stall. Just anywhere beyond the magic restroom door.

Here's the rule. If you're embarrassed (and rightly so) about a noise you make in public, you should feel no less embarrassed in a restroom.

Let's get right on this one, shall we, fellas?

My Campaign for Writers Lives On

I'm always happy when people remember the image campaign I created for the Writers Guild of America back in the day.

I came across a blog that mentions the campaign, so I thought I'd share.

The blog is that of Josef-Konrad Radomski, a Montreal-based freelance writer. His blog is named "Sophisticated Hokum," and as this guy says, the name "stems from the critique a story analyst at Warner Bros. gave to an unproduced play called 'Everybody Comes to Rick's' back in 1940. The analyst described it as an 'excellent melodrama' and 'sophisticated hokum,' and suggested the studio purchase it at once. That play became the basis for 'Casablanca,' one of the best movies ever written."

One of the coolest things about the Guild was that I often had the opportunity to meet exceptionally talented people. Billy Wilder. Neil Simon. Larry Gelbart. Randall Wallace (the screenwriter of "Braveheart," the single best piece of literature I've ever read). I also got to meet Julius Epstein, the co-writer of "Casablanca."

I can only hope that my efforts, in some small way, helped raise awareness of the role of writers in film and television. And I would like to take complete credit for the fantastic way scriptwriting was integrated into this year's Oscar telecast (where typing in script format was shown as the action played out on the screen).

I still think "Somebody Wrote That" has a nice ring to it.

UPDATE

Yay, Interwebs! I heard from the writer who posted that blog, and he wrote something nice, so I'll share it: "Aside from getting more people to notice writers, your WGA campaign was also instrumental in getting me to notice the WGA, learning about its many resources and offerings, and giving me a heads up about the business side to writing that follows the creative process. I especially liked the ad that was written to writers about the 'perfect scene' that reminded you what it is 'to truly be alive.' Very inspirational stuff!"

Here's the ad in question, and it was always my favorite. It's on my bedroom wall, even to this day.



This was the only ad I did that was intended to speak directly to the writers themselves. It was the last ad in the series, and I got a lot of positive feedback about it. I think writers liked the reminder that what they do isn't interchangable or expendable. It was also a reminder of why they write in the first place. The residual payments are great, of course, but ultimately writers want to move people, inspire them and unleash their imaginations.

Yay, writers. Yay, Interwebs. Yay, snappy taglines.

I Put the Love into Operation Love

Here's another shot from my Operation Love Reunited session this past weekend.



I imagine military deployments are toughest on the kids. Actually, I don't have to imagine it. Pretty much my whole childhood was spent having a dad who had to leave for long stretches to kick some butt on an aircraft carrier. The USS Enterprise, in fact.

What a great family! It's a hoot to be able to help them out with some photos before Dad heads to Iraq.

The "After" Headshot

Haven't done a headshot in ages. I like how this one turned out, though.



I don't think my subject would mind saying that she's lost about 125 pounds in the last year or so. Astonishing accomplishment, and I was touched to have been asked to take her first headshot after her amazing journey.

Operation Love Reunited

Today was my first session as a photographer for Operation Love Reunited, and it was a blast!



This program hooks up photographers and military families to do portraits before, during and after deployments. Photographers agree to provide their services for free, including ordering a shipping an album of images overseas to the soldier.

I started off my participation in the program with a bang! Two-for-one. I did portraits of a family of four (one of whom was a pup), photos to come, as well as a mother and son (that's him, above). The father's already overseas in the case of the mom and son.

It's an honor to be a part of a program that tries to help military deployments a little easier (as if anything can). My father's deployments were tough on our family when I was a kid, so I can kind of empathize with these folks. They all seem so appreciative. It's just such a tiny drop in the bucket compared to the sacrifices they're making. And, of course, some make the ultimate sacrifice. Just so we can hang out and watch movies on DVD and play Scrabble and have blogs.

Saying it's an honor doesn't quite do it justice, actually.