Enough About Me

Blah, blah...blog. It always seems to be about me.

But this time, it's different. It's about some book.

Uh, that I'm quoted in. In Spanish.





I'm pretty sure that quote translates to, "The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes." I guess people like that line, because it's on hundreds of sites on the Interwebs.

See? This blog entry wasn't about me. It was about my TALENT. So, there.

Oh, Snap!

I been told! So, here's the official line-up of my conditions.

Apparently, I have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Obvious one.

Histrionic personality disorder? Not sure what it is, but yeah, that's probably spot-on.

Borderline personality disorder. Yep.

Oppositional defiant disorder. (Can't go along with that one, sorry.)

Narcissist. Check. Conduct disorder. Check.

Ya just gotta love living with a mental health professional.

I Don't Birth 'Em

I just shoot 'em.

Holy Crap!

We hit a few garage sales today, as we do each weekend, and the first one we go to, there's a printer box under a table. I noticed that it was taped shut...it looked like it had never been used.

I asked the lady in charge about it, and she confirmed, it was brand-new. Her husband had gotten it, but never used it. He'd paid $100, she said.

They were asking $30. But I already have a pretty good printer for photos. The cost of ink kind of makes printing more expensive than is worth it, especially when a place like Costco does such a great job for, oh, 12 cents a print or something.

So, I asked if they'd take $20. She said "yes." I was pretty happy.

When I got home, I figured I would look up the printer to see how much of a deal, if any, I'd gotten. I found the printer on Amazon.

The price: $456.99.

Hence, the holy crap. Yay, yard sales!

Ron Howard is Cool

Whatever your political leanings, whether you're voting for Obama or the wrong candidate, you'll appreciate this great video featuring some icons from the golden age of television. Two golden ages, actually.

It's All About the Cheeks

This is one of the kids I shot this weekend. Them is some impressive cheeks, that's for sure.



This is the baby's sister. More cute cheeks, too.

Today's Portrait

"Today's" doesn't mean to imply there will be one every day, so don't worry.



I just registered this domain name: YourKidShouldBeShot.com. Do you think that's a good name for a photographer who wants to be paid for taking portraits of children?

Scariest. Video. Ever.

Funniest. Video. Ever.

Our dear friend Brandon has whipped an amazing, funny, charming, incisive and, oh, did I mention, hilarious video that's sure to redefine "viral."



The video it's a spoof of is nearly as entertaining (and addictive).

Like vs. Love

There are photos I get that I like, and photos I get that I love. Guess which category this one falls into.

That's Gotta Suck

It's gotta suck when you have a friend over for dinner, and they take all these photos, and you kind of play along because you figure the guy would never post your pictures on his blog without asking.



Jen's a regular visitor to this blog, so it won't be long before she finds out that this hypothetical situation isn't all that hypothetical. Sorry, Jen, but it's better to ask forgiveness than permission.

And thanks for being such great subjects!

Three Weird Things

Three weird things that happened this week.

First, I put out a fire in a neighbor's yard this week. I drove up, and a large bush was fully engulfed. The flames were licking at the leaves of a tree. I used a garden hose to douse the flames, and a fire truck showed up a few minutes later.

It's been said that some run away from danger, some run toward it. I, on the other hand, run toward something that's not particularly dangerous in an effort to have my neighbor's grateful wife make me some lumpia.

Second, we had a blackout at the office on Thursday. It really shone a light (so to speak) on how reliant we are on electricity and computers. Everyone was standing around going, "What do we do?" Every interaction, every piece of business, every step we take to keep the business going and the money flowing starts with our computers and e-mail. I think there was a time, during my lifetime, when we didn't have computers. At all. If the electricity went out in those days, people probably just kept working. Using paper and pen. And we all survived. Weird.

Weird thing number three. Yesterday, my girlfriend said these words, "I left a bug out for you. I fished it out of the cat's water dish. Because that appears to be normal in this house."

Not exactly alien abductions, but weird nonetheless.

Anything weird happen to you this week?

Icon: Not Just Some Title I Made Up

As further proof of my alleged iconic status, I proffer the following. I know, I know. Generally, I'm not a big profferer, but in this case, I felt proffering was called for.

Below is the cover of a book.



Yes, it's a real book, not some Photoshop jobby. Here is the back of the book.



That's right! Mere years after I virtually begged Dave Barry to contribute a "blurb" to my book, "Twisted Billboards," I was able to return the favor to another aspiring writer. Here's a close-up.



I trust that my pithy endorsement of this book, as "Creator, President and CEO" of my profoundly neglected site AnimalRightsStand.com, will cause this lively read to appear at the top of the Bestseller List within days. Actual results may, well, you know, vary.

Our Famous (and Irksome) Cat

Well, that's something. Our cat made the paper.



Just another one of those WTF moments in life.

Everything Seems to Have a Face

Aw, man. Now I can never crush a silverfish under foot without thinking about a furry little face.



There are just some creatures I'd rather not see the face of! I want them to remain anonymous and faceless and suitable for crushing.



Up close, silverfish appear to be the Teddy bears of the animal kingdom, innocently creeping into our silverware drawers and cabinets.



Who's to say our foraging and mating are more important than theirs? We're so different because we can make cars and end tables? That makes us better?

Next time, think before you crush.

Today's Random Kid

Went to a party for two-year-old the other day. Lots of kids. With a camera in my hand, I don't even seem to mind all that much.

Heeeere's Johnny

This is Johnny.



I met Johnny downtown, at the famed Fremont Street Experience. I tend to meet more homeless people at the Fremont Street Experience than anywhere else in Las Vegas. Maybe they like the light show.

I took Johnny's portrait for $2 as part of photographer Thomas Hawk's "$2 Portraits Project." Find out more here, or see the $2 Portraits Project Flickr Photostream here.

Oh, Holy Crap!

Guess what crawled creepily into our home tonight! Let's just say it wasn't a friendly ant or graceful butterfly or elegant praying mantis. Oh, heck no. The animal kingdom had to take it up a notch!



Terrified of this thing though I was, I still just had to take on the challenge of getting a macro shot. I suspect this may be where my little macro hobby ends. This thing was angry and mobile. I tried my little "in the fridge for five minutes," but he got right back up, right away, and bolted for freedom.

Back into the fridge. Ten, 20, 30 minutes. On the very last try, he held still just long enough for me to get 5-10 shots. Being so close, every movement made me think this guy was going to jump into my eye and poke a hole through my iris with his barb.

Getting this simple shot (that I'm not all that sure looks REAL) was one of the most unnerving things I've done in photography. Scorpions don't have cute little faces. They just don't. I can get all warm and cuddly over an ant, but I just can't seem to muster an affection for this bad boy.

Enjoy, because this might be the last extreme close-up you see for awhile. At least until my hands stop shaking.

Why I'm Super

Oh, just look.



And just try to resist doing it yourself.

Over the Top

Wow. Now, that's a logo that makes a statement.

The statement is, "Anything goes. Get used to it, suckas."

Don't Hurt Yourself, Kid

That's my nephew, Brandon. He's a pretty happy kid. But, then, who wouldn't be if you had an uncle like me.

The thing I like best about me as an uncle is that I don't do presents. If you saw how much stuff these kids have, you'd pass on that particular ritual, too.

I enjoy being an uncle. I show up, bring some dry ice, plop it into water, and I'm a hero. Another day, cupcakes. I'm the man.

One day, I invented a game. It consisted of having the kids sit on the couch and telling them, with great authority, "I'm going to turn around and count to 10. Good children will still be on the couch when I turn around." Ten seconds later, of course, nobody's on the couch, and bedlam breaks loose. Kids running wildly through my sister's house, screaming at the top of their lungs. Seems like a dopey game, huh? Well, let's just say I came up with this game about three years ago, and they never tire of it. Kids aren't all that bright, I don't think.

Most Exciting Election Ever

Literally.

And in Today's Celebrity News

David Duchovny has checked out of a rehabilitation center for sex addiction, according to his lawyer. Thankfully, sex addiction isn't a crime. But even if it was, he'd probably get off.

Let's Get Small

Ah, the memories. Anyone remember back in the day when Steve Martin's "Let's Get Small" album was the shizzle? Albums. Like CDs, but groovier.

Which is all kind of unrelated to this, other than that when you process certain images in a certain kinda way, things look small. These are samples from yesterday's trip to Primm.







Primm is a blast! It's in the middle of nowhere, kind of on the border between Nevada and California. Three casinos. Outlet stores. A roller coaster.

Trams run between the casinos. The above would be those. They just look cooler when they're...littler.

Dear, Sociopath

Dear double-murdering sociopath. (Oh, OK, to be more accurate, "narcissistic personality disordered individual.) You lose.

The Somewhat Pre-Icon Days of Yore

Wow. Back in the day (2001), I was just a baby Internet icon, with a mere 349 results for my name on the entire Interwebs.

http://www.google.com/search2001/search?hl=en&q=scott+roeben

Today, it's 10,800, thanks in great part to, well, being so me.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=scott+roeben&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&oq=

A longtime friend mentioned that I may use too many personal pronouns in my blog. While I appreciate the feedback, I have no actual idea what personal pronouns are.

I think it's a little late to change me now, anyway.

Say Hello

Say hello to Mia. She is a handful.



She belongs to a co-worker of mine.



Taking photos of Mia was like trying to take photos of a hummingbird.



But we got some.



I think this is my favorite.



My apologies to people who don't care to see photos of kids in my blog. Maybe you should see someone about that.



Even though I enjoy shooting things like praying mantises, I think I like shooting kids the best. Unfortunately, you can't put a kid in the fridge to get them to cooperate.



Probably.