Dizzy Madoff treated for hypertension. Also suffering from associated ailment: Hyperdouchery.
Sportscaster George Michael dead at 70. Singer George Michael's career? Ditto.
Disabled gunman held after standoff. Oh, sure. Able-bodied criminals would get no mercy. This guy gets a hug.
Donkeys escape from live nativity scene in Colorado. Some kind of political statement about church and state, no doubt.
Man dies after skiing into tree at Colorado resort. "Life and limb" takes on a whole new meaning.
$500 million in sunken treasure returning to Spain. GNP increases by, oh, 500%.
Oldest captive gorilla turns 53 at Ohio zoo. Younger mate planned, but no flashy sportscar because, well, he's a gorilla.
Obamas arrive in Hawaii for vacation. Counting down minutes until poi is socialized.
Kiss frontman Gene Simmons accused of threats. New threats. The gonorrhea thing is old news.
Woman knocks down pope at mass. Funny, Catholic opposition to birth control usually results in people being knocked up.
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